Lesson learnt.

Never, I repeat, NEVER do anything for people. The best way is just to be selfish. I'm damn damn pissed. Whats the use of doing something and going out of the way just to help a friend, when they are just going to turn around and kick you in the ass. And mind you, I didnt expect this from YOU cause I thought you would understand since you are older than all of us. Well whatever. Looks like age is really only a number. People should start judging age by your mentality. WHATEVER LA. At least now I know and thank God this was like a wake up call. I'm just gonna be selfish from now on, and keep to myself. Whatever I want, I do. Not stupid favors for people anymore. Luckily, I'm disappearing back to Ipoh tomorrow and NEVER having to deal with people like you anymore. For the time being at least. But whatever. Even after I come back I know how to keep my distance la. Call me childish, but enough is enough. I hate being pushed around by people, and I've taken enough shit my whole life. Its about time I put a stop to it.

Owl.

I've been owling for the past couple of days. I have no idea why I just can't fall asleep. I'm finally picking up the pieces of my future again. Don't know how everything is gonna be, if it would really work out or not, but lets just hope for the best. I've been in a really whiny mood these days. Especially to Dan. I don't know why la. I think I'm just afraid. Here's the part I whine about him. Please bare with me, Preeta and Scandal syg. Since you guys are the only loves who read my sad blog about nothing. Hahahaha.

* I feel his stupid student council is more important than me. I mean, yes I get it its good and its gonna look good in his transcripts and blablabla. But hello? when I tell him I'm gonna be leaving back and he probably won't get to see me for weeks? I mean, not like he would even take the effort to even come down to Ipoh to see me. So? While I'm here can't he make the best of it? Its always his council his council his council. I've had CLOSE friends who were in the council too but hey, they were nvr THAT busy. I get it, he has duties to take care of the council booth, but its not like he can't even change to an earlier slot with someone else? Aiyah. Anything la. I know I should take the initiative to go to college to see him, but being in that place just reminds me of how I saw THEM together while we broke up. Her sitting on his lap, him hugging her, and blablabla. Everytime I go there, hang out with him, his friends, I can't help but think, 'did his friends like her more than they like me?'. Which I think they do. Cause if not his friends would have tried talking to him into getting back with me instead of her. Not like I didn't talk to them, I did. So? Although I knew them and they are nice people, I still feel uncomfortable around them. ARGH! No one would understand. And plus that feeling of "he's probably having a fling in college" cant seem to get out of my head. Yes. I know I might be paranoid, but who won't be after what happened. I am insecure about the whole situation, and I'm not denying it. ARGHHHHHHHH!* Anyway, screw it la! Don't wanna think about it. Whatever happens happens. This time I shall choose not to care so that when anything happens, I wouldn't get hurt. 


Here are my plans for what I planned to do since I would be in Ipoh for quite a while.
*Get a job - I wanna save money to pay for my new tattoo AND re-pierce the back of my neck.
*Join the gym - To lose weight and be healthy.
*Re-decorate my room - Its about time I gave my room a facelift & a new aircond. 
*Learn how to cook! - My Mangsa love would be back by then, and I wouldn't have to waste money eating out if I cook.
*GET MY DRIVING LICENSE! - Its about time. And I'm serious this time. DEAD SERIOUS.
*Meet up friends I haven't had the chance to hang out with - Yes. Especially high school mates.
And last but not least,
*Party till I forget my own name. - In Smita's dictionary, thats a must!


Hmmm. Sounds like a plan. So many things to do, SO MUCH OF TIME! By all this I would be too occupied to even know myboyfriendexists. Since thats probably what he wants anyway.


OHHHHH!! I have a new goal in life! To be a vegetarian hopefully by the time I'm 21. Not a full vegetarian, but I guess no red meat? Only seafood and chicken. Because just that day videos on animal skinning for fur was posted on Facebook, and everyone started commenting on it. And one of my friends actually said it was kinda hypocritical of us humans to be upset over the videos, and yet we still eat meat. I know I know. Even animals eat animals, thats the whole circle of life. That was my mindset the whole time. But to think of the fact that I love animals, I would be a hypocrite. No I don't support killing animals for our own luxuries, but for basic necessities like food, I chose to defer. But when I thought about how animals like pigs and cows were being tortured for meat[killing is still torturing, there are no 'proper' ways of doing it right?] I felt really bad. Animals like chicken or fish are different. Cause even chickens are stupid enough that if you feed them chickens, they would eat chicken. But animals like cows, pigs, goat, etc. ARGHHHH! Its gonna be really hard for me but I should try. Plus I think I really should start eating vegetables to be healthy anyway. So its a 2 in 1 kinda thing. Pork balls and steaks are hard to say goodbye to. But I guess there's no harm in trying. Oh well. We shall see how it goes.


To end my post, I shall blog about my retarded Mangsa. I was skyping with her, and she's just plain retarded that sometimes she leaves me speechless. Let the pictures do all the talking.

YES!! I TOLD YOU SHE'S WEIRD! Thats why I love her! :)

08.10.09

Sometimes I just feel like shooting myself for all the mistakes and stupid things that I had ever done, especially when I'm drunk. The humiliation to myself, especially. Not forgetting, also to the people who care about me. But then, if I never did what I did, I wouldn't actually have actually learnt anything. I know I've made plenty of mistakes before. And I do admit my faults. The best part is, I don't have to feel like its end of the world, cause EVERYONE makes mistakes. :)

"Take chances, make mistakes. Thats how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to practice in order to be brave."-Mary Tyler Moore. 

Girl Guides.

I was looking through Raja Nadiah's pictures on FB and saw this. I had to blog about it. HAHAHAHA!

8th Coy.

Top row [left-right]

Don't know, Raja Nadiah, Khatrine Lim, Hanushaa, Kaysha, Cant see, Su Xian, dont know, Chuan Pei?, Dont know, Dont know.

2nd row[l-r]

forgot her name, Ngeaw Wai Leng, cant remember, Siew Pheik Yee, Soo Yi, Foh Poi Yee, Carrie Heng, Michelle Suhania, The Four tak tau nama.

3rd row[l-r]

Rachel Chiam, Ow Kwai Chan, Preeta, Sharanya, MAH YUK LING, Pavitra, the 3 I dont remember their names.

Sitting[l-r]

Kan Lai Lai, Tan Siew Leng, Smita[yes, laugh at my jungle eyebrows], Koh Wai Yee, Pn.Ravi, Lai Yin Yin, Soo Teng, Then Tzu Shin, Kimberly Anne Monteiro .

Kneeling[l-r]

Alicia Tan, Wooi Sue Jane, Amanda Yap, Saomithra, and I forgot her name.

I miss those times. Where we would always skip class to paint flags, practice for gatherings, gather during recess, MARCHING, and camps. Sigh. I miss high school. Music the most!

07.10.09

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams". -Ashley Smith.

haha.

confession.

Dear Chuck Bass,
I am in love with you. More like obsessed. Since I first watched Gossip Girl. Which was last year. From the moment I set eyes on you, I knew I loved you. And no, not Ed Westwick, but Chuck Bass. Marry me please. I promise I'd make you happy forever. Preeta wants to share you with me. I said can. Only for a day. Don't worry. Only her. She said you turn her on. And she tak dapat for quite awhile. So I pity her la. HAHAHAHAHAHA! <3

I.love.Chuck.Bass.